I lost my dad july 22nd 08 .. He wen't into a shell gas station and never came back out alive. He wasn't feeling well that day but he had a doctors apt. at 3, he died around 11. I will be 30 friday and i can't believe my dad won't be here to see me turn 30. Theres so many other things he doesn't see and i am not mad at God i just miss him so much i found this group and thought anything may help at this point. I write alot sense dad died. He was 53 my moms a mess .. I see hospice so do my 3 kids it helps me feel somewhat normal. whatever normal is these days. I hope to meet others here that have advice i guess or even if i just write about dad maby that will help? I am sorry to everyone here who has losed a loved one if i had the words or answers i wouldn't be here.
corie

Dear Corie:
I lost my dad more than 2 years ago. He was older than your dad, and I'm older than you are, but it still hurts. There is something about the security of having a dad, even when you are grown and have your own separate life to live. It's good you're seeing the hospice people. I only reached out once to them. They were wonderful, but I just thought I could move on by myself. I'm now seeing a counselor and it helps.
It helps to talk about him to someone else, to let people know what a great person he was. I believe he was the most decent person I've ever known, and I'm so sad that he's gone.
My grief has burst out as anger, which I'm only now figuring out and trying to deal with.
One thing my counselor has me do is to just sit in a peaceful place and write and write without censoring what I'm writing. Just a free association with no thought of spelling, subject, verb, whether it makes sense. Then I shred the papers up, and somehow it makes me feel some release.
Give yourself some time and find some way to let yourself feel what you need to feel.
skyblue

I just lost my dad October 1, 2008 of a sudden massive heart attach.  He was 59 years old.  20 day's later I turned 40.  Noverber 12th my daughter will turn 18 and he will miss both events.  My friend told me that now he my daddy angel and he alway's will have his angel wings wrapped around me. I was very close to my dad.  I miss him more then anything in this world.  I was lucky enough to have had dinner with him the Saturday before he passed.  It was so much fun, talking about a trip we were going to take in April for my husband and I's anniversary.  He was also going to take my husband on a fishing trip.  Corie, I know what you are going thru and I'm having a very hard time with this my self.  I'm just trying to figure out how to get thru the holiday's.  Every year after Thanksgiving, my dad, mom my husband and I would decorate their house with tons of Christmas lights.  My husband has already told me he will not be able to do it this year.  It's way too hard for him.  I'm glad to see that I'm not the ony person out there who is hurting.  I sometimes feel like the world should just stop because my heart is hurting so much right now.